Back Home

I wanted to let you all know that my team and I have all made it back safely home. We spent two days traveling, made all of our flights and arrived with all of our luggage! God is good! So much of that is the prayers and support that you all have offered us during this trip. Thank you all for being a part of this with me....

During our last evening in Chiang Mai, we went out to dinner and completed our debriefing process. We were all asked to share three moments, experiences, or thoughts that we take away from our time in Cambodia and Thailand. Many I have shared here in my blog.

The first was about the beauty of belonging. As our missions director, Duncan Sprague shared with me, "belonging always precedes belief." I have seen that in a powerful way in Asia. We can't just share propositions and truth...those things are good, but they need to be accompanied by love and showing people that they belong in God's story. This is always done in the context of relationships.

The second thing I learned was about "restoration." This is one of my favorite words and always will be. God is at work in Asia. He is bringing all things back under His dominion and original design. I leave Asia inspired and excited about what God is doing. Our church will continue to send teams to this area and develop long term relationships with the camps that we visited.

The third thing I learned actually has to do with you all and this very blog. I have been truly blessed, humbled, and inspired by all of your love and support. I have been on many trips around the world and this trip was very unique because I felt that you all were with me. I loved sharing with you about what God is doing here and many times I went through the day thinking, "that is something that I want to share with my friends and family" and was able to share that almost as it was happening. Your words, comments, support and prayers were beyond words. I felt that everyday as our team entered the battle we were unafraid because you all went with us. I couldn't have done this trip without you! I love you all.

With love...fighting alongside of you,
Tammy

One night in Bangkok...

We left Chiang Mai on June 14th and headed to Bangkok by plane. So what do you do with only one afternoon and evening in the city of Bangkok? I'm still trying to figure that one out! We were told to visit the King's Royal Palace, but we didn't get there in time before it closed. So we ended up walking, shopping and getting a bit lost on the streets of Bangkok. This city was huge and very different than I had pictured it.

That evening we sat on the roof of our hotel just talking about the trip and life. This was a good time of reflection on the trip and about Asia. I learned that one-third of the the worlds entire population lives within a 3 hour plane flight of the city of Chiang Mai, Thailand, where we were staying with the Bradleys. That really blew my mind...and has reinforced how powerful it is to work and do ministry in this region! God is working here! As our time in Asia comes to a close, I am very sad. I will miss this place. I'll miss this people, the relationships, the sights, the sounds, (most likely not the smells), and being a part of God's work here. Thank you all so much for your prayers and continued support!

The Maesa Elephant Camp

Our time in Chiang Mai, Thailand with the Bradley family was amazing. It was a time mixed with rest, shopping at the "night market" (which is fabulous), visiting tourist locations, and debriefing with the team. On June 13th we visited the Maesa Elephant Camp just outside the city of Chiang Mai on the side of a mountain with lots of jungle terrain. The camp is full of trained elephants. At the camp we got to see the elephants up close and personal. I even got whacked across the head by an elephant truck which nearly knocked me to the ground. It hurt like crazy, but was worth it for the good laugh it gave my group. We also attended an elephant "show" in which we saw elephants playing soccer, dancing, throwing darts, building structures, and painting. These paintings are actually very good and sold for lots of money!

We were able to take a 30 minute ride on an elephant through the jungle. On the ride I kept thinking..."this is the adventure of a lifetime." And while I was riding on the back of our elephant, I praised God again and again for this trip...for the beauty, the people, the relationships, the hardships, the disappointments, the triumphs, the lessons, and this very space in time to see what God is doing on the other side of the world!

Transitions and Buddhism 101

We have arrived safely in Chiang Mai, Thailand and I'm having a difficult time believing that this is the last leg of our trip. Yesterday we traveled across the border from Cambodia to Thailand and then took a van 3 hours to Bangkok where we boarded a plane to Chiang Mai. This was about a one hour flight. Now we are staying with our main leader, Paul Bradley, and his family at their home. This time is set aside for rest and debriefing. There home here is beautiful and thankfully Chiang Mai is a little less humid that Cambodia and Bangkok. Chiang Mai is mountainous and full of jungle. I love it.

Yesterday was my hardest day so far. I guess that I'm experiencing culture shock times two. First as soon as we crossed the border everything was nicer. The roads were paved and things were developed...such a difference from the extreme poverty in Cambodia. Then Thailand has such a different culture. I feel that I do everything wrong and everywhere we go someone on our team is reprimanded. Then I've fallen about 3 times and have been labeled as unlucky by my team since I fail to see the "step up" into most of the buildings and rooms. It's a running joke now that I've done a face plant in the immigration office. :) So my first day in Thailand was not the best impression.

Today has been much better. I feel that I'm adjusting and being in a nice home helps a little too! This morning we traveled to a very well know temple in Thailand with a guide who took us through "Buddhism 101". As we walked around the temple he explained all the practices that the people were doing. He also shared the history of Buddhism and the basis for their beliefs. During this process I was completely overwhelmed to the point of tears as he explained that all Buddhists believe that they must completely kill their desires and that desires are the basis for all suffering...so the goal is to completely get rid of them. I was saddened to wonder about a culture that is not able to ask questions, or to suffer, or to desire deeply. I thought of my family, my friends, and the students that I work with and was so thankful that we are able to see suffering and pain as a sort of gift though it is hard many times and that I can love deeply and care for people.

It's very hard to see the people of Thailand and Buddhism so close to the truth, yet so deceived. Our guide pointed out so many similarities between the two religions down to some of the details. They have this deep capacity for worship and I believe God has given them some signs of the truth...but the deception is so great and the entire basis of Buddhism is based upon an ugly lie. The work of missions and evangelism here is very long term. I'm am thankful for folks like our guide and Paul Bradley and his family.

Each day has been such a huge learning experience. Thank you all for your love and support. Each day I am blessed by the posts and messages that you leave me. I wouldn't want to do this without you. Blessings to you all.

Unit 513

Yesterday was our last day full day in Cambodia and we spent this day at Unit 513. We only had one day there and it was by far the hottest day we've had yet. Unit 513 is located near the city of Poi Pet which is very close to the Thai border.

Since we didn't have as much time at this camp, we set our hearts and minds on just connecting and playing with the kids while most of the adults waited to talk with the medical team that came with us. They were able to receive medications and many received eye glasses! It was so great to see many folks walking around with their new glasses...taking them off and putting them on again with huge smiles on their faces. It is such a great thought to know that many of you reading this blog provided those new glasses for the folks of 513 through the financial support you have given for this trip. I am so delighted to advance the Kingdom alongside of you! And I am reminded how we must all work together to bring God's story and purpose to others. This would not be possible without you.

Since I am finding "theme words" for each of the camps that we visit, I would have to say that Unit 513 has taught us more about "Restoration." It was here that I spent a lot of time thinking about the question, "what does true missions, ministry and development look like for this country." I don't think it would be giving everyone a nice home or nice things or teaching them to function like we do in America. While I was playing with the kids, I had a conversation with one of our interpreters, named Phanna. He was telling me that the kids were begging us to promise that we would come back. Phanna said that parents here don't really play with their kids, so the kids were thrilled that we were playing with them and really "enjoying" them and that by doing that we were teaching them about real love. I never thought that real missions could be as simple as playing games with kids.

After we left Unit 513 we traveled to the city of Poi Pet to spend the night at the Thai border. This was a bitter-sweet time for me. I was very sad to leave Cambodia, our guide, the doctors, and even our van driver whom we had grown to love, but was very excited to have some much needed rest and to move on to a new adventure.

Cambodia has really captured my heart. The people are so beautiful and inviting. They have taught me so much about God's story and how He is bringing restoration to all things. I continue to learn that the opposite of poverty is not wealth...it's relationship. It's what God is calling us all to...the restoration of all things; of all relationships...God with man, man with man, man with himself, and man with creation. This is the true work of missions and development. Thank you all for being a part of this.

Unit 512

We just finished our second day at Unit 512. This community is located 1 hour and 20 minutes north of the city of Sisophon.

We spent two days with the kids and their families in this community. They were loving and full of adventure. After we did our crafts, sports, and English lessons, we all sat around the watering hole in the community for several hours and watched a bunch of naked little boys swim and play games with two members of our team, Bryce and Dave. (No one else on our team wanted to take the risk of getting in this water. We're smart!) Each of the boys took turns getting thrown into the water. They loved it! But I think that their parents enjoyed it even more seeing their kids get thrown into the water. This was by far one of the highlights of my time here!

It seemed that the relationships here came easier. Perhaps adventure and fun are deep connectors of our souls; a universal language. And as Bryce has so cleverly pointed out to our team, "I feel that I was more connected with this group of kids...perhaps it was because I was swimming with a group of naked little boys." So this community has taught us about "Enjoyment."

I also wanted to pass along another website to check out for this trip. Adam, our team leader has also been posting about the trip. Check out his website at http://www.longschronicles.blogspot.com/.

I miss you all. Take care!

Unit 51

As we travel across Cambodia I am amazed to see the "mini" cultures inside of this country. Each military camp that we travel to is very different. When we visited Unit One last week, I found the kids and parents there so ready to play and enjoy life. They were warm and inviting. They taught us many games and shared the stories of their lives. We laughed and played hard. In a word they taught us the meaning of "Belonging."

Unit 51 was different. We had a tougher time establishing relationships during the first day. I found that it took more effort to break into their lives. We had to gain their trust. Here we had the opportunity to spend more time with the military officers and their families as well as the kids. The parents and military officers were very curious about us...our stories, our life in the states, and about God. They asked really great questions and it was amazing to see that they were asking the "right" questions.

I had the privilege of sharing my story with this group. This was an opportunity to share with them that just because I live in America and just because I believe in God, does not make life perfect. I shared about my struggle with Multiple Sclerosis and my loneliness in not being married. This message rang true..."we are made for another world". I felt that many of them were surprised to hear that we have poverty, rapists, murders, and thieves in America, but by the end of our time there, we had built the relationships and trust we had hoped for. I felt that we had to fight harder at this place, but the reward was stunning. Unit 51 has taught us more about the gift of "Curiosity."

Angkor Wat

On Tuesday I was able to mark off one of the places on my list of 100 places to see before I die. Angkor Wat is a famous and ancient temple area spanning 20 square km in the heart of the jungle near Siem Riep with over 200 temples...big and small on the premises. We only had time to visit three of them. It's comparable to the Macchu Piccu empire and the great pyramids of Egypt. This empire lasted from 900 - 1300 A.D. and was only rediscovered some time ago.

I was in awe of the remains of this empire. (I felt like I was in an Indiana Jones movie.) It is vast and beautiful. The stone carvings, artwork and statues are not to be rivaled. As I walked through these temples I couldn't help but wonder how God was at work here...and how every culture; ancient or modern has this deep desire for worship and sacrifice. We all have this idea to create something holy and set apart; to create a place to honor God. For the Angkor empire it was set up to honor Buddhism and Hinduism, but it is interesting that just as you read in Ecclesiastes, "[God] has set eternity in their hearts." We all deeply desire to find something transcendent...beyond our world.

Touching something made hundreds of years ago was almost spiritual like stepping back in time. I am reminded that God has been at work in Cambodia...He is at work...and will continue to be at work. God is timeless and His fingerprints are everywhere.

Going North...

Tomorrow we are leaving Phnom Pehn and traveling North to the region of Siem Reap. This is in the northwest part of Cambodia for those of you who are tracking this trip. I am told that this will be about a 5 hour van trip along some pretty rough roads. So it should be more like four-wheeling trip...exciting I'm sure. Along the way we plan on stopping at a temple to take a tour. Then on Tuesday morning we should be touring the famous temple area of Angkar Wat. I am very excited for this. I hear that it is ancient, beautiful and has over 200 actual temples at this site. I think that we only have time to see about 5 of them, though. :)

Then for the next five days we will be working at 3 different camps in this region. So we will be teaching more English, playing games, making crafts, and also doing some medical outreach. We are taking three local doctors with us for this trip.

I will probably not have internet access this next week, but if I do, I will try and keep you all updated. Next Monday we will travel from Siem Reap up into Bangkok, Thailand. We will most definitely have internet services there. Thank you again for your many thoughts and prayers. I love you all.

The Mekong River

Traveling down the Mekong River yesterday was absolutely beautiful. We saw such a different way of life in Cambodia from what we have seen before. The people here have a long tradition...a way of life that is ancient. I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like here on the river. There were houses on the hill near the river and also house boats...children playing in the water and life taking place on the river. As we passed by these homes and the jungle area I thought a lot about my dad and wondered if he had similar moments over 30 years ago as he served in Vietnam.

Killing Fields

Choeung Ek Genocial Center is a place where the most barbarious and cruel crimes committed by the Khmer Rouge took place. Today after we visited S-21 we traveled just outside of Phnom Phen to the Killing Fields. Here, about 20,000 people were executed and murdered. At this site there were 129 mass graves, about 8,000 human skulls, and scraps of clothing were still scattered throughout these fields.

As I walked past these grave sites, it was hard for me to take in that this happened during my lifetime...it seemed so far in the past. Many of the graves were marked with signs that told of the atrocities that happened to the people before and after they were murdered. I am stuck by how massive and destructive this time really was.

I wanted to also thank you all for coming alongside of me. I read each and every one of your posts...and I feel your prayers deeply! I really enjoy posting here, because I feel that it is an opportunity to take you all along with me and to share what I am learning. Our team has been doing well and I have been feeling the best I have in the last four years...which is really a miracle! Please continue to pray and share your thoughts. I am thankful for you all.

Tuol Sleng

I once heard a definition of "tragedy" that really struck me...."something dies, but something lives."

This is so true of Tuol Sleng, or S-21 as it's also known. Tuol Sleng is the location where the Democratic Kampuchea regime, or Khmer Rouge regime, set up a prison to detain individuals accused of opposing Angkar. It was the most secret organ of the KR regime. S-21 stands for "Security Office 21". It was formerly a high school, but during the reign of the Khmer Rouge it was turned into a prison and was used to detain, torture, and kill the Cambodian people.

Today as we walked through this prison, now a genocide museum, the history of this culture took me to the point of tears. We walked through some of the darkest rooms and cells I have ever seen. There were beds where prisoners used to lie as they were tortured and murdered. The instruments of torture lying near the beds. In some rooms you could still see the blood stains on the floors and the walls. Barbed wire encasing many of the buildings...pictures of the thousands of victims at the prison posted in each of the rooms...and bones and clothing placed throughout the museum were all a reminder of how dark humans can be.

According to the Khmer dictionary, the word, "tuol" means the ground that is higher in level than that around it. The word "sleng" can be a noun or an adjective. When it is used as an adjective it means "supplying guilt" or "bearing poison" as a noun is means two kinds of indigenous Khmer poisonous trees. So "Tuol Sleng" literally means a "poisoness hill" or a "place on a mound to keep those who bear or supply guilt." The pastor at our church preached a sermon on this picture a few months back after visiting Cambodia himself. He saw this place as a picture of the cross (a tree) on a poisoness hill (Golgotha)...there the guilt and the shame of the world was carried by Christ for us... and out of that place life was able to continue. This is true for the Cambodia people as well. Though they have a sad history in the Khmer Rouge Regime, that is not their entire history...God continues to work and is very present here.

Kampuchea for Christ International

Today we visited another organization called "Kampuchea for Christ International". They are based out of Phnom Pehn, but have ministries taking place in several different areas around the country. They have a holistic vision of changing lives. Today we saw two of their ministries; which took us about a 2 hour drive north of the city. The first was a feeding program. This program picks about 50 of the poorest kids from this community to receive one meal each day, 7 days a week. They arrive around 11:00 and line up to for the program. They first sing Christian songs (which they love and dance to) and then receive a new meal and turn in the container of their older meal. We got to hand out the meals today and watch children's faces light up as they received a new meal.

The second ministry that we visited was a center for women. This was an amazing center where about 100 women (hand picked) come to start a new life. Most of these women are very poor and have been involved in some type of difficult situation such as prostitution. The women come to the center, live there, receive counseling!!!, study, and learn some valuable trades such as cosmetics and sewing. After they graduate, they are able to move on to a different life...one more in line with God's origninal design.

Sareth

Sareth is the name of our in-country host. He is 38 years old and has lived in Cambodia his entire life. He has lived through the Killing Fields of the 70's and has a rich story to share with others. He was six years old when his family was torn apart by the Khmer Rouge and has many stories of a difficult survival. I have been impressed with how well he knows his culture and has such a caring heart for his people. He has studied in the United States, but said that he would never live there because he would miss his home and his people too much.

Sareth makes us laugh all the time as he has a great repertoire of jokes and stories. He is so warm and friendly and the kids love him. Yesterday he lectured them for about 30 minutes on the importance of education and how that can change lives. He says that his country's biggest need isn't money but education. I am so thankful that their are men like Sareth...wanting to bring the Kingdom of God to their people. Please pray for Sareth and the folks that work with him through Cadence International.

Unit One

For the past two days we have been working with the children at a church in an area named "Unit One". From what I understand this is how the communities are divided up... by "units" and numbers. I guess that it has something to do with the military history of this country.

We would arrive around 9:00 in the morning to the church each day. For the first part of the day we would do activities with the kids. Myself and a team member named Matt would teach some English lessons (mostly numbers, some nouns and then some basic conversational English. Bryce and David were teaching some of the kids (mostly boys) soccer games and baseball, and then Christina and David were making crafts. Each child was able to make a salvation bracelet. These are bracelets with different colors; each representing a different part of the gospel story. We would do these stations at the same time and then rotate the kids through. In the afternoons, we would play games...we taught them the hokey-pokey, duck-duck-goose and a few others. Then they would teach us some of their games. It was so wonderful to see them laugh and enjoy themselves.

I was able to learn some Khmer from three older students...Viachai, Chaumou, and Siemroy. They spoke some English so they were able to communicate more. I shared some photos of my family and home. They loved hearing about my life and then were eager to share more about their own lives.

We spent two full days at this community...and I'm amazed at how present the Lord was at this place. The people are so warm and inviting. They wanted to share life with us...teach us about their games, their stories and their lives. I was struck by how each child was eager to put someone else first and to make sure that they shared with each other. Their laughter and smiles were beautiful. And after only two days...their were tears as we left. As I think about this community, I think of a phrase that Duncan the Missions pastor at our church said..."belonging always precedes belief." Unit One is a community of belonging and that is why so many can believe. We thought we were bringing God's Kingdom to this community, but they were bringing it to us.

Kingdom of Cambodia

We have finally arrived in Phnom Phen after a very long journey. The visas we received for our stay in Cambodia read, "Kingdom of Cambodia"...and truly I am very excited to see how God's Kingdom is really coming to Cambodia.

On Sunday evening we flew to Los Angeles and then from Los Angeles to Hong Kong...and somewhere in there lost an entire day! So today is Tuesday instead of Monday and my body feels like it should be sleeping, but it's the middle of the day so I'm doing whatever I can to stay awake. Hong Kong was beautiful (from what I could see from the airport). Full of steep lucious, green hills right on the ocean and some of the tallest buildings that I have ever seen. It's full of mystery and intrigue. I'll have to come back here some day.

This morning we flew from Hong Kong into Phnom Phen. I enjoyed my flight here as I had an entire row to myself and a window seat. And as we flew in over Vietnam I couldn't help but think of my dad and the years he spent serving during the war. It means so much to see an area of the world that has had so much impact in his life. The people here are very warm and kind. They are very curious about us and since we have two guys on our team over six feet six inches tall we attract attention whever we go.

Today we rested, went to the open market and went through a briefing on the events that will take place the next few days. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be here and to participate in what He is doing in Cambodia. Please continue to pray for us. We feel that we have been extremely blessed so far in our travels and conversations. Pray for rest and rejuvination and for our time tomorrow as we begin our first English lessons with the children and their families. I love and miss you all and will try and post some pictures as soon as I figure out how to do that from this computer.

With love,
Tammy

Mercies...

The following is an excerpt from Anne Lamott's book "Traveling Mercies". She says, "My coming to faith did not start with a leap, but rather a series of staggers from what seemed like one safe place to another. Like lily pads, round and green, these places summoned and then held me up while I grew. Each prepared me for the next leaf on which I would land, and in this way I moved across the swamp of doubt and fear...I can see how flimsy and indirect a path they made. Yet each step brought me closer to the verdant pad of faith on which I somehow stay afloat today." Please pray for "mercies" for our team on this trip to Cambodia. In many ways it will be a "leap" to a new pad...a new view of God's Story. Pray for health and safety...for a renewed view of life and purpose and for the people we will encounter. Pray for our hearts.
With love,
Tammy

Traveling...

Here we are one week before we depart on this new adventure...I can't believe that the time has finally arrived for us to head off to Cambodia and Thailand. God has been SO faithful throughout this entire process. He is teaching me so many things about His Kingdom and our parts in this great big Story. Please pray for us as we prepare our hearts for what God has in store for us there and for health and safety. Thank you dear family and friends for being a vital part of this journey and team. I'm taking you with me...